A place where liberals and conservatives can come to a consensus on what an ass I am.
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Little Troubleshooters

January 14, 2014

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PretendCarpenter

I know I often come across as a grumbling curmudgeon with little sentimentality — the kind of person who misdirects the blind and refuses to clap for Tinkerbell. But I do have a softer side, and one thing that is guaranteed to bring it out is the sight of a little kid offering to help […]

Including the kitchen sink

December 7, 2013

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CandW-TruckIntoTree-JustNoticingThat

Sadly, one of the best comic strips is disappearing. I’ve been enjoying Cow and Boy for some years now, but apparently its fans are a small and disparate group. Admittedly, it’s  not your usual comic strip. It’s about a boy and his cow and mostly they sit around pondering life’s imponderables while dodging cat-copters, hate-bots […]

An ode to The Straight Man

December 3, 2013

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laurelhardy

Oh sure, we laughed at Lou Costello, Tommy Smothers and Jerry Lewis in their heyday, but we know they wouldn’t have been half so funny without their other halves: Bud Abbott, Dick Smothers and Dean Martin. And Gracie Allen without George Burns? Forget it. But of course, the famous straight men and women of the […]

The raccoon incident

November 18, 2013

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raccoon-baby

This is a piece I wrote while working on that paper that shall remain nameless out west in that province that shall remain equally nameless. It happened last winter and is reported here without embellishment. I guess what I'm saying is: Yes, I'm that stupid.

So … that happened.

October 20, 2013

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Okay. I think I can finally talk about this thing. When last I wrote we had just committed to a drastic and frightening life change. (Geeze. Isn’t “life change” a bloodless phrase?) Samantha, her 85-year-old father and I were moving halfway across the country where I would take on a steady and significant position on […]

Fred’s Maid: What should we call her?

October 12, 2013

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TheItGirlClaraBow

Every actress of lasting note has been bequeathed a special name by her fans. Clara Bow was “The It Girl,” Lauren Bacall was “The Look.” Marilyn Monroe was “The Blonde Bombshell.” Veronica Lake was “The Peek-a-Boo Girl.” You get the idea. So what special name should we give to Fred’s Maid? She was born as […]

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Calling all “Fred’s Maid” fans

October 11, 2013

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ChristmasCarolFredsMaid

A while back I wrote about the little maid in the 1953 Christmas classic, A Christmas Carol. With only 42 seconds on screen, and no dialogue, this shy little woman has captured the hearts of thousands of fans. Unfortunately, these fans have never had a name to associate with their crush. Well, now we do, […]

V8 Juice and Canadian unity

March 9, 2012

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Catwoman

In 1994, during a crisis in Canadian unity, one food manufacturing company quietly stepped in to help ward off an imminent invasion from the United States. In this post we salute V8 Juice for helping to keep Canada a sovereign nation.

Chicken art and Canadian politics

March 5, 2012

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AbbottAndCostello8x10CU

At the end of “When Pookas attack,” I intended to link to an article I did back in 1997 called “Chicken art and Canadian unity” –  a review on Rob Thompson’s art performance piece in which he protested treatment of commercially-bred chickens by putting two people in a cage for a week. But then I […]

Thy deep and dreamless sleep

December 25, 2013

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It’s Christmas time so I’m reposting something I wrote a few years ago (and then borrowed for a Christmas editorial for the newspaper last year.) Merry Christmas everyone. “I remember standing in the old church in Windsor…” These were the words with which I intended to begin this post. They refer to a specific moment […]