A little over a week ago I had an unsettling dream.
No, not that dream. It’s been months since Stephen Harper and Soupy Sales appeared in my dreams, and for that I’m extremely grateful.
This dream was completely unprecedented. For one thing, it involved work, and I never dream about work. I understand other people do, and years ago when I was a janitor I used to empty garbage cans in my sleep, but in more recent decades, my working life and my dreaming life have been nicely segregated.
In this dream, I received my fall schedule, only to discover that I had been cut to two classes a week. With three or more classes I qualify as “partial load,” which not only gives me a higher hourly wage, but also medical benefits for the last month of the semester.
Outside of my first semester, I’ve always had partial load in the fall, and quite often in winter as well, so I was quite shocked at being demoted like this. I turned for advice to some of my colleagues, who told me I was being “Ethaned.” At this point it began to dawn on me that I was dreaming; while we often ignore unbelievable events in dreams, getting any kind of advice from my colleagues was too unbelievable even for dream logic. Before I woke up, however, I came to understand that “being Ethaned” was the administration’s method of getting rid of unwanted profs by making it impossible for them to earn a living at the college any more.
“It’s what they did to Ethan,” my uncharacteristically helpful colleagues told me just before they faded away.
So that was weird. But it gets weirder.
The day after my dream, I received my fall schedule. It consisted of only two classes.
Needless to say, I was nonplussed — meaning I was not plussed at all.
So I wrote back saying that, while I was happy to take the classes, I was disappointed not to get my normal partial load. The answering e-mail explained that, due to budget cuts, the department was no longer offering partial load to any of its profs.
Imagine my relief. I wasn’t being singled out. We were all being “Ethaned.”
Still, while the dream’s prophetic nature wasn’t entirely accurate, it did make me stop and wonder: “What kind of person is named ‘Ethan,’ anyhow?”
There are two famous fictional Ethans, both of whom come to bad ends by following unethical dreams. In Nathaniel Hawthorne’s “Ethan Brand,” the title character is burned to a crisp after a life-time spent trying to find the one “unpardonable sin,” while the Ethan in Edith Wharton’s Ethan Frome is semi-crippled following a poorly executed attempt at suicide-by-toboggan with his wife’s cousin.
And then, of course, there’s Ethan Hawke who, while not himself fictional, plays fictional people in movies such as Dead Poet’s Society, Training Day, and Before Sunset.
A real-life Ethan, Ethan Allen, was a Revolutionary War hero who captured Fort Ticonderoga (with the aid of a pre-traitorous Benedict Arnold), and has since had his name given to a couple of forts, several ships, at least one submarine, and a furniture company. The battle itself was commemorated most famously by John Dixon who founded the Dixon Ticonderoga Company, which manufactured his new invention, the pencil.
The earliest Ethan I could find is Ethan the Ezrahite, who was considered the wisest man in Israel, aside from Solomon:
And Solomon’s wisdom excelled the wisdom of all the children of the east country, and all the wisdom of Egypt. For he was wiser than all men; than Ethan the Ezrahite, and Heman, and Chalcol, and Darda, the sons of Mahol: and his fame was in all nations round about.” (1 Kings 4:29-31 KJV)
Bible scholars believe that Ethan the Ezrahite wrote the 89th psalm, a conclusion they reached by reading the beginning of the psalm which says that Ethan the Ezrahite wrote it.
As for me, at the urging of my wife I’m going to get my Technical Writing Certificate. It’s a field which not only offers full time jobs, but has absolutely no connection to the education system.
It’s such a smart idea, I’m convinced it’s what Ethan the Ezrahite would do.
Linda Medrano
July 11, 2011
Damn, while I’m glad you weren’t being singled out, I’m sorry this has happened. Still a paying job as a technical writer would give you a better income, and probably less headache. (Teaching is thankless and generally you are surrounded by idiots.) They really get you between a rock and a hard place with the medical coverage though.
I found a dog. He was big and beautiful and had no collar. Since the dog was wandering the streets, I picked him up and took him to the Shelter to keep him from being hit by a car. I think he was a Mastiff, but young and very sweet. I told the shelter people to call me if he wasn’t claimed because I wanted him. I was going to name him Ethan. I t still think it’s a good name. Ehthan’s owners came to claim him one day before I was going to make him mine. Too bad.
That was one weird fucking dream.
Frank Lee MeiDere
July 11, 2011
That’s a shame about the dog, and Ethan would have been a great name for him. In fact, the more I think of it, the more I really like “Ethan” for a dog’s name. (Oddly enough, however, not for a cat.)
And it sounds like you’ve had some experience in the education field.
Linda Medrano
July 12, 2011
Ethan is a delightful dog name, but a curious cat name. I had a cat named Charles M. Freyberg. Yeah, we called him Charlie.
I have had some experience in the classroom, but only as a student. I was always loved by my teachers because I was actually very interested in learning. (With most students, that was not the case.) I was fortunate to have been taught by some amazing professors. Of course, going to college starting when I was 30 made a difference. At 18, I was pretty useless too.
Frank Lee MeiDere
July 12, 2011
We went to university in our mid-to-late 40s, and it’s true: you pay much closer attention and appreciate education a lot more.
Nicky
July 11, 2011
I have very recently found myself “downsized” as well, so I can commiserate. Well at least we still have our blogs to supplement our incomes, right?
Yeah, that technical writing course might not be a bad idea.
Frank Lee MeiDere
July 11, 2011
The income from my blog is what I plan to retire on. I’ve already got a heating grate picked out on University Ave., and I’ve been saving a refrigerator box I liberated from a weakened homeless person a while ago. I’m all set.
Ziva
July 12, 2011
I’m sorry you got “Ethaned,” Frank! At least it’s better than getting euthanized, which is what I first thought your title said.
Frank Lee MeiDere
July 12, 2011
Isn’t that spelled “youth-in-asia”?
Laura
July 12, 2011
From the title, I was sure this would have something to do with ethane gas.
I’m sorry you were Ethaned. It’s probably better to be Ethaned than Ethanized, though, because that sounds too much like “euthanized”.
Frank Lee MeiDere
July 12, 2011
When you’re euthanized you don’t have to pay bills.
nonamedufus
July 12, 2011
This is nothing. My dreams are prophetic night after night. I usually reach a point in my dream where I have to go to the bathroom. Then I wake up and sure enough I have to go to the bathroom. This happens every night, Frank, at least two or three times. Amazing, huh?
P.S. Sorry to hear your schedule got cut back. That grate on University’s looking good about now, eh?
Frank Lee MeiDere
July 12, 2011
Just be happy you’re still at an age that you actually wake up before the dream’s prophecy comes true.
00dozo
July 12, 2011
Technical writing? You mean that we might finally be able to understand the poorly translated ‘destructions’ that usually accompanies most products requiring assembly or, in other words, you’re going to tell people how to get screwed (i.e.how to properly use a screwdriver)? I can’t wait to see a technical manual which says, “Frank Lee MeiDere wrote this”.
;-)
Seriously, good luck with that course. I find it sad that the education system seems to be pricing itself out only to the elite and that promising students cannot afford tuition, thereby resulting in a cutback of qualified teachers.
Frank Lee MeiDere
July 12, 2011
I’ve written technical manuals before, but it was almost 20 years ago and now they’ve got a whole batch of software applications you’re supposed to use to write them. In one instance, I actually got in trouble for making the manual too understandable. I was so dumbfounded I didn’t even have a witty comeback for that one.
toomanymornings
July 14, 2011
What fool or fools decided that in order to save money the university needed to marginalize all of its professors? Won’t that lead to some sort of mass exodus, pardon the Biblical reference, and the eventual desconstruction of the very institution they’re trying to save? Also, don’t they realize that even though the university’s in Canada and many if not almost all of you are friendly Canadians, there’s a chance that at least one of you angry, broke, nearly unemployable professors might go postal — professorial? — on them? Idiots!
Oh, and I’m really sorry, Frank. Been there, done that. It sucks, and not in a good way.
Frank Lee MeiDere
July 15, 2011
Part timers get paid less per hour and get no benefits, and there’s a large pool to draw from. The best will, in all probability, leave, but quality hasn’t been a part of education for a long time now. As for the chance of riots, there’s little to worry about — this is just a matter of livelihood, not anything important like a hockey game or something.
Still, as they say, God never closes one door without also turning off all the lights and covering the floor in mousetraps.