While going to Mac’s Milk for a couple of gallons of Mac’s Eggnog (which used to be Becker’s Eggnog before Mac’s bought out Becker’s), I realised that I know all the words to the theme for The Big Bang Theory.
The whole universe was in a hot dense state,
Then 14 billion years ago expansion started — wait!
The Earth began to cool, autotrophs began to drool,
Neandrathals invented tools, we built a wall
(We built a pyramid).
Math, science, history,
Unravelling the mystery,
It all started with a big bang.
See? I may have a word or two wrong, but that’s it in essence.
(Also, is it a little disturbing that the words form a mushroom cloud when centred like that?)
Of course, it’s not all the words. The actual piece (written and sung by The Barenaked Ladies, who were once banned from playing at an outdoor concert in front of city hall because their name was sexist) actually has several verses, including these lines that I particularly like:
Australopithecus would really have been sick of us
Debating out while here they’re catching deer (we’re catching viruses)
Religion or astronomy, Encarta, Deuteronomy
It all started with the big bang!
I looked those up. But the first verse I did by memory.
Not that I can prove it, of course.
That’s part of the problem with the Internet: you can do a lot of faking and nobody is any the wiser. As the old cartoon says, “On the Internet, nobody knows you’re a dog.”
For instance, I could be an Albanian immigrant living in East Anglia unable to speak or write a word of English.
Well, maybe not that last part — although I suppose I could use Google translate.
Problem is, translations don’t generally work too well. For instance, if I take these sentences…
Am I an Albanian immigrant living in East Anglia? Maybe. There is no way to know for sure. At least not for you. I, on the other hand, I’m pretty sure I’m not.
…and translate them into Albanian I get this…
A jam unë një jetë shqiptar emigrant në East Anglia? Ndoshta. Nuk ka asnjë mënyrë për të ditur me siguri. Të paktën jo për ju. Unë, nga ana tjetër, unë jam goxha i sigurt se unë nuk jam.
Now when I take that and translate it back into English, I get this…
Am I an Albanian immigrant life in East Anglia? Maybe. There is no way to know for sure. At least not for you. I, on the other hand, I’m pretty sure I’m not.
Uh…wait. That’s actually pretty accurate.
Okay, so sometimes translations do work out.
Which, I suppose, brings me to the point of this post. Even though Mac’s Milk bought out Becker’s years ago, their eggnog is still the best in Ontario and possibly in the whole world.
Also, The Big Bang Theory theme is awesome.
Plus? I’m actually an Albanian immigrant living in East Anglia.
Here’s the Big Bang Theory theme in my native language:
universi jonë e tërë ishte në një gjendje të nxehtë të dendura,
Pastaj gati 14000000000 vjet më parë zgjerimin e hapura. Prisni …
Toka filloi të ftohtë,
Autotrophs filloi të pallavra,
Neanderthals zhvilluar mjetet,
Ne kemi ndërtuar një mur (kemi ndërtuar piramidat),
Matematikë, shkenca, historia, unraveling misteret,
Që filloi të gjithë me zhurmë e madhe!