I’m a voice — now they want a face, dammit

Posted on August 30, 2010

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Well, it’s official. For the first time in [mumbledy-mumble] years, I will be appearing on a regular basis in a city newspaper.

Not often, mind. But regularly.

I’ll be one of ten “Niagara Voices” appearing in the St. Catharines Standard. This also means I’ll be sitting on their community editorial board.

Yeah, I don’t know what that means, either.

Anyhow, my first column is due September 30, and I’ve got no idea what it’s supposed to be about. In the meantime I’m supposed to arrange a time to go into the Standard offices for a photograph.

George Jonas of the National Post. Doesn't the sketch make him look dignified?

They never said anything about that when we were talking earlier. This could be a deal breaker. Personally, I like the sketch portraits, like they have in The National Post. I think they lend a certain dignity to almost any face.

Photographs are created by mechanical contrivances and merely capture the outer being, which, unless you’re George Clooney, Avril Lavigne, or Michelle Pfeiffer, probably doesn’t bear close scrutiny.

Sketches, on the other hand, are created by real people with hopes and dreams and loved ones, all of which can be threatened to make sure they turn out something flattering.

Unfortunately, The Standard wants photos, not sketches.

And I just wanted a voice, not a face.

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