Is this irony? Or what?

Posted on May 10, 2010

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Nicky, a co-author of We Work For Cheese, gave me the award. Possibly because she’s eaten too much cheese. According to the rules, “The Sunshine Award is awarded to bloggers whose positivity and creativity inspires others in the blog world.”

See that? That bit right there about “positivity and creativity”?

Now let’s review the bidding. To date I have likened David Suzuki to a chimpanzee with a stick, railed against Canadians for being smug,  accused women of being ungrateful and self-centred, ranted against men for being moronic and illiterate, and criticised today’s youth for being completely clueless when it comes to computers and the internet.

On top of this, I hate the metric system, intensely dislike positive thinkers, and I once left my cousin wrapped in barbed wire while I went home to read a book.

No, really.

About the only person I ever have a good word for is Avril Lavigne.

Flowers. Sunshine. Blue skies. Yep, that captures my blog perfectly.

Is there a picture emerging from all this? Does it look anything like a picture of “positivity” or “inspiration”?

If it does, you’ve been eating too much cheese.

Now the rules of this award call for the recipient to pass it along to 12 other bloggers.

Twelve.

That’s more bloggers than I have fingers.

But it is the number of inches in a foot, which means it’s duodecimal. And not decimal. Like metric. Which I hate.

So I’ll go half way with this. Since I don’t read blogs that are filled with “positivity,” I’ll concentrate instead on the ones that at least inspire me.

(1) MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings: because he inspires me to try keeping up to his level of quality in writing without having to sacrifice an iota of sarcastic cynicism.

(2) Ziva at Ziva’s Inferno: because she inspires me to imagine a beautiful Mossad agent with great hair getting the hots for another woman.

(3) Chris at Knucklehead: because he inspires me to insult dogs and revisit the more horrible aspects of my childhood.

(4) Leeuna at My Mind Wandered — And Never Came Back: because she inspires me to be more irritable about things like packaging that requires chain saws and blow torches to open.

(5) Murr Brewster at Murrmurrs: because she inspires me to try packing more funny into every sentence.

(6) JohnnyB at Late for the Sky: because he inspires me to try my hand at satire, plus I know he’s going to decline the award.

(7) Jason Mayo at Out Numbered: because father blogs are rare, honest father blogs rarer still, and he inspires me to keep my writing real.

(8) Josh Fruhlinger at Comics Curmudgeon: for inspiring me to look at the daily comic strips with an even more jaundiced eye than I normally bring to them.

(9) Tremendous News at Tremendous News: for inspiring me to humiliate my children on Facebook.

(10) Janna at Jannaverse: for inspiring me to try packing even more funny into every sentence.

(11) & (12) John at Nonamedufus and Joe at Crotchety Old Man Yells At Cars: who, through their continued up-beat attitude despite undergoing horrendous medical procedures inspire me to keep my humour even when things get tough.

Wait a minute — those last two were kind of positive.

Sorry about that.

Anyway, there they are. There are others I read and enjoy, and these kind of things always put me in a bind because it’s inevitable that people get left out and then I feel bad for a while until I finally remember the most important thing:

I don’t give a damn!

This picture is for illustrative purposes only. In case someone doesn't know who Avril Lavigne is. That's all. It's educational.

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