My first drunk post

Posted on December 5, 2009

12


I’m drunk.

Well, I’ve had several glasses of wine, so I’m not entirely sober.

Sober’s a funny word. It’s actually from the Latin sobrius. “Se” means “without” and and “ebrius means drunk. The actual origins are unknown.

That’s probably because they were drunk when they came up with it.

In any event, I’m in St. Catherines (Ontario), and I’m staying the night and my host had several bottles of wine.

Some of these bottles are now gone. Well, the bottles are still here. The contents are gone. Where they’ve gone is a bit of a chemical mystery, but some of it has been turned into pee.

I don’t often get drunk. I don’t like it much. Fucks up my thinking. I prefer a joint.

Can I say that? Joint?

Anyway, the alcohol has affected my t;hinking processes. What’s worse is my host only has Internet Explorer. I don’t like that. I prefer either Firefox of Chrome. Both of them check my spelling as I go along. My spelling is generally atrocious.

Anyway, my host is going to be going to California. He’s moving. He’s packed up all his books and is going to California. After he’s gone I have one more friend, and in April that friend is going to Mexico. That’s a whole other country. (Well, so is California, but somehow America isn’t quite as much another country as Mexico is.)

That leaves me with — hold on while I count on my fingers — uh, carry the zero — that leaves me with no friends. I somehow haven’t made any new friends in a while and now I find that’s a bit of a disadvantage. Cause now I don’t have any.

Shit.

That sucks.

On the plus side…I’m drunk. I’ve had four glasses of wine and now my head is all screwed up. Plus? This keyboard is weird.

Well, what do you expect from someone who uses Internet Exporer? Of course he’s got a fucked up keyboard.

So anyway, I just wanted to say — don’t drink alcohol. It makes you do stupid things like post idiotic things to your blog.

I’m going to go back and pretend I know what people are talking about.

I just wish it took more than four glasses of wine to get drunk.

Actually, what I really wish is that I’d had a joint at the beginning of the evening. Then I wouldn’t have had the wine. I woudn’t have a headache tomorrow. And I wouldn’t have poisoned my body.

Plus I also wish my last friends weren’t moving to foreign countries.

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